Back on the Rollercoaster

So a few weeks back, I thought I had noticed some spotting in my underwear.  I was thinking, "Bummer, here's my period." but it never progressed past the two spots I first noticed in my underwear.  I started getting excited.  I started feeling crummy (slight nausea, fatigue, and occasional headaches) which made me super hopeful.  I took a pregnancy test, and it was negative.  I figured I had tested too early. I was convinced I was pregnant (like 75% convinced, the other 25% was telling myself not to get too hopeful). I waited for a week, and took another one.  Still negative.  Now I was only 50% convinced.  I waited another week.  Negative.

So now I was back to being cynical and apathetic about it.  I told myself I wasn't pregnant.  I told myself that if I kept up in that vein, not only would I stress myself out (during this three week span, my anxiety levels were pretty high (which might explain the nausea)), that I would drive myself crazy and have a phantom pregnancy.  So I took myself in my hand, gave myself a stern talking to and invested in some tension relieving essential oils (a mix of wintergreen, basil, chamomile, and rosemary).

Last Friday, I got my period.  It wasn't the same as my period has been.  My periods of late have been a reasonably heavy flow, and bright red.  This one was light and brown, and just not all that healthy seeming.  So I am concerned that I have been slacking off too much this past cycle. I haven't been exercising as much, and I have been more lenient in the reduction of sugar intake.  So I am thinking my hormones have been slacking off too.  A poor lining is a side effect of hormonal imbalance, so I am vowing to myself that I need to get my energy level back up and focus on exercising again.  I am already trying to eat better, so after I get done treating myself (I allow a sugar splurge during my period) I am going to work on resisting the temptation of sugar.

I am going to try and relax and not worry about the future so much.  I am back on the roller coaster, let's see how many ups and downs this ride will have.