My emotions lately have been pretty frazzled. I have been more anxious and down than I have been up and joyful. I have been more self-conscious and taking more things personally than I should. I think I am just a bit more raw because I am slowly accepting that this might not happen without help. It is a lot to absorb, I think, and I feel like I am trying to balm over the hurt with one particular vice: sewing.
I have always enjoyed making things and lately I have been wanting to get more and more into quilting. But lately, I can't seem to control myself when I am in a fabric store, or any place that has fabric. I end up buying fabric for my stash, because "Oh, wouldn't this make darling dress for my niece?" or "I could make a quilt with that fabric!" or "That is such a great price, now is the time to buy!" ... or a thousand other excuses.
A couple weeks I organized my fabric stash, and I have two ginormous tubs of fabric, and still I couldn't stop myself from going to Joann's huge spring sale and spending (WAY) too much money on fabric that I don't have a plan for. My husband says he doesn't mind, that he has his vices too, but I don't need $80 worth of fabric (but because of the sale, I did sale $120, but still ...). And then the next day when I went solely for thread, I still bought more fabric.
I have a serious fabric addiction, and I think it's because I desperately want to make projects for my future kiddo, but I can't until there's a kiddo to make stuff for. So I stash the fabric and plan. I want to do something constructive, so I tend to make things for my niece and nephew, but it doesn't quite fill the void.
I guess it is slightly better than eating to make myself feel better, but I need to knock it off. I am planning on making some use-it-up projects to give to friends, or maybe sell, but right now I just feel like a hoarder, who is trying to make herself feel better with objects. I'm pretty sure that's not super healthy.
So for today, the Crazy Fabric Lady signs off,
As far as vices go, fabric is not a bad one to have. When the zombie apocalypse comes, you'll be warm & dressed fashionably! Joking aside, try making something for yourself. Spend some love on yourself. That can be really hard when you feel like your body has betrayed you, but remembering to love and care for yourself is important.
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